FAQs

Adoption is a process whereby a person assumes the parenting of another, usually a child, from that person’s biological or legal parent or parents, and, in so doing, permanently transfers all rights and responsibilities, along with filiation, from the biological parent or parents.

This is something to think about very seriously. One needs to be honest, open and transparent throughout the process.

The conventional approach is one of ‘matching’ – mostly in terms of skin colour of the parents. However, this is literally a skin-deep approach. After all, there are quite a few biological children who look very different from their parents or siblings.

Remember that truly strong bonds are built over time, as you spend time caring for and nurturing your child.

The more important thought here is the distinction you make in your mind, not the external distinctions. If distinctions cloud your thoughts, it will not work, irrespective of how well the baby is physically matched in one’s environment. There is no right or wrong choice, but you need to be clear in your mind about your reasons for opting for adoption.

The first step for anyone considering adoption is to open their minds and hearts to children. However,it is equally important to ponder and carefully analyse all the variables in adoption prior to arriving at the decision to start or expand a family through adoption. Also, you should have realistic expectations and not overthink or overanalyse, but at the same time, address your inner thoughts and concerns on adoption. It is advisable to opt for counselling before arriving at a decision. Counselling can help you toget a clearer perspective. Talking to adoptive parents can also be useful.

The answer to this may not be easy for some. However, it is a pertinent question you need to ask yourself prior to entering the adoption process. Understanding and validating the reasons for adopting is important.
Do you feel secure facing tough questions, and are you comfortable with the reasons? The reasons why you want to adopt are pivotal to the way you handlepost adoption concerns. Always seek the advice of an adoption counsellor prior to the process.

Here are some questions that could help you.

• • Have you gotten past the feeling of inadequacy of not having a birth child ?
  • Can you unconditionally accept a child of another cultural, social and religious background?
  • Can you tackle concerns regarding adoption without any pre-conceived prejudices?
  • Is the extended family ready to accept the child and be inclusive in the long run? If not, how do you bring them into the fold and accept the decision?

Finances play a critical part in the adoption process as well. Review your finances before you decide as there could be additional costs of support services and counselling, amongother expenses, which may come with the adoption process – before, during and post-adoption.

In open adoption, the birth parents and adoptive parents have information about each other and have ongoing contact after the baby is placed.

In closed adoption, adoptive parents and birth parents do not share their names or contact addresses, and have no ongoing contact after the baby is placed.

Not everyone knows how to handle the social challenges surrounding adoption. While adoption is intensely personal, you must be prepared to talk about adoption and not feel fear or a sense of guilt or shame when questioned about it. You need to be armed with the right information to deal with social prejudices, stigma, misconceptions and opinions regarding adoption.

Having children is a life-long commitment. You need to be ready to take on all the challenges that come along with raising children. This commitment applies whether you choose to have children biologically or through adoption. Yes, adoptive parents may have certain unique challenges. Nevertheless, one must be prepared to tackle concerns and understand that adoption is not the root cause of every concern that arises for their child.

There is no “one size fits all” formula. There are some pre-adoptive training programmes for prospective parents offered by CARA. Speaking to families who have already adopted and gone through process could be helpful.

There are a lot of misconceptions about the adoption process and adopted children. The first step towards mitigating the social conditioning is for the prospective parents to be fully equipped with knowledge on adoption. With the right information, you can burst myths and misconceptions among family and friends.

The most common medical concerns are micronutrient and macronutrient deficiencies. This can be usually bridged once the child receives a well-balanced nutritional diet. Secondly, there could be some developmental delays; in most cases this can addressed. Lack of stimuli in the agency or institutions coupled with lack of proper nutrition can sometimes delay the developmental milestones. Learning concerns or disability, if any, will become more visible once the children enter pre-school. Most of these can be corrected at an early stage depending on the extent of gaps in the pre-natal or post-natal well being of the birth mother.

Surround yourself with a strong support system of family, friends, and adoption counsellors. This can help you to move through the adoption process feeling strong and prepared. Always seek assistance when in doubt. Having an adoptive parent or support network can be helpful at every stage of adoption.

• • • • A married couple
      • An Indian citizen
      • Non-resident Indian
      • Overseas citizen of India
      • Foreign prospective adoptive parents
      • A single man (unmarried, divorced or single)
      • A single woman (unmarried, divorced or single)

• • • • Orphan
      • Abandoned
      • Surrendered

Children of various age groups are available for adoption.
As soon as a child is declared legally free for adoption by the Child Welfare Committee, he or she will be allowed to be placed

In most cases, it can take between 4 months to 1 .5 years. (CARA website)

Note: In recent times it’s taken upto 2 to 2 1/2 yrs to adopt in the 0-2 category, and now  in the current scenario with COVID lockdown there could be further delay. (Padme’s perspective)