Listen to Reva Chandekar’s journey in adoption. Her perspective on adoption loss, on her birth parents and on self acceptance.
Adoption Through The Eyes Of A Young Adult
For the first time Padme brings a perspective by a young adult on inter-racial adoption. Nishal speaks with aplomb about his adoption, his ties with India, and his love for Indian heritage.
I think that adoption is kind of difficult because all the kids that have been adopted are always asking their adoption parents who their birth parents are, but it’s also good because they at least have a family to live with while they grow up. Also, (from the perspective of a kid who has been adopted) their friends would ask them “Do you know who your real parents are?” and “Do you want to meet them when you are older?”
But I would say “no” to both those questions. Also adoption means love as my parents have been telling me and I so agree with that
A heartfelt blog by Trisha
Adoption is simply a manifestation of love in the form of an intentional choice.
Adoption to me is simply a manifestation of love in the form of an intentional choice. I think sometimes people see it as being a lesser form of love but it’s just a different path that stems from the same driving forces of love and desire anyone else would possess. To me, to say it’s weaker form of love isn’t true at all, if anything it’s simply different, but that’s not to say it’s any less real. Having been adopted at 5 weeks old lent itself naturally to my parents being able to expose me to what adoption was at a very young age, so because of that I’ve been lucky enough to be raised in a very open and supportive environment from the very beginning.
Regarding my family, extended family and friends, I have never once been made to feel anything less for it. In fact, my parents have always said it’s something that makes my story special. The concept of adoption and the story/stories of me coming home have also often been discussed so it’s a topic I’ve grown up thinking was essentially a norm rather than a taboo topic. If you ask me, I think adoption should be seen more as norm, and not something to be shied away from. This is especially important now because if I’m not wrong, there are many more people today who are wanting to go down the adoption route (for various reasons) and should not be afraid to be open about it or fear for their children to be brought up in a world thinking they are different or loved any less.
Straight from the heart. Watch Maya cherishing her favorite line in the book, ‘A Simple Wish’, with her Mom Pia. ‘A Simple Wish’ by Pia Ghose , watch this space for more, about the author and the book.
For as long as I can remember, I never felt like I didn’t belong with my family. No other place felt like home. My journey was pretty much a fairy tale, simply because my parents put it that way. Everyone has their story of being brought into the family and I had mine. I distinctly remember asking my parents, “Tell me our family’s story, pa. please!?” And my father would smile and tell it over and over again.
The story was “There lived a king and queen. They always wanted a kid, but could never have one. So they waited for a long time, prayed a lot and hoped for the best. One day, they received a gift wrapped in a red velvet cloth. A baby girl! They were so happy. And they continue to live with that child even now. Do you know who that cute baby is? YOU!” Everytime that story ended with ‘you’, we would laugh and smile, hug each other. The velvet cloth was symbolic, because I was given in a red velvet cloth, and that detail really got me hooked to the story.
My family, both immediate as well as extended were welcomed me, and nobody made me feel weird about anything. If anything, they made me feel like they were blessed to have me with them, and when seeing them being so welcoming, it is very heartwarming. The idea of being adopted never made me feel like the odd one out.
When we learnt about reproduction amongst animals in 5th grade, I remember going back home, and asking my mum if we were different and she said, “You’re born to stand out. You’re so special to us and special to the world too!” And even though I knew it was just a tiny voice in my head, I realised that mothers always knew how to put that voice to sleep, for good.
As I grew up, I realised every family had its ups and downs, and that’s the way the world worked and my family, and I believe in second chances, hugs, forgiveness, honesty and most importantly, we believe in LOVE, and that’s how I’ve grown as a daughter and as an individual.
And yes, I do feel I’m special. Moreover, I feel blessed to be with these amazing people. Something tells me that I’ve probably belonged with them, in spite of meeting them in a not so mainstream way. Our family has been an inspiration to my extended family to adopt, and now two couples have adopted children, and I think that definitely makes me feel proud.
As a child, I’ve asked questions about my birth parents, and my parents were okay talking about it. They didn’t hesitate, and as I grew up, I realised I didn’t want to know them either. It wasn’t anger, it was just that I didn’t know what was her reason to leave me, but finding and meeting her might disrupt a life that she’s managed to build for herself. I wouldn’t want that for anyone. I’m not sure how well my biological parents could’ve taken care of me, but I can definitely say, with all my heart that nothing beats what my family does for me, and I don’t think I could ask for more and, I wouldn’t want to ask for more either.
I’m happy with who I am, and with who I am with, regardless of the way we came to be.
Smriti Sugant
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