Children share their Wish List
Excerpt from the “The Penguin guide to Adoption in India’ by Dr. Aloma Lobo and Jayapriya Vasudevan ( Published by Penguin books, New Delhi, 2002)
I wish…
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That I had more pictures of my childhood, before I came home to my parents.
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That my parents more openly talked about my adoption like they did with all other topics.
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That friends did not say “ so you are adopted! They never tell my sister , So, you are biological!
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After all I’m 18 years old and they should have finished with questions by now.
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That my parents did not feel awkward or nervous about talking about my birth parents.
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That people did not see my as object of charity that was so “ lucky” but so is my sister (who is a biological child and the reason is that we have a wonderful family and a happy life)
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That friends and family did not speak “A’ word in whispers.
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The relatives did not think of making excuses for me because I was adopted. That they need not smile at me benevolently.
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That my parents would realize I’m all grown up now. I remember the childish story they had told me about my adoption when I was little, but they have not referred to the matter, since i would like to talk about it in an adult kind of way.
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That I was born to my adoptive parents.
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That I had a blood relative I knew. A genetic connection.
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That the media did not make a big deal about adoptions that go wrong, about people who come from other countries to find their birth parents and locate them in a remote village about ‘children being “bought’ and “sold” and so on so forth. The majority of us are normal and regular.
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That movies with an adoption theme will not always have the child “searching” for her birth mother and then finding her in the hospital, or an institution or a convent.
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That people would not ask me if my parents had ‘real children”. I am real.
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That people don’t assume that genetic is closer than being adopted. If that were true, than my mother would be closer to her brothers, than my Dad and that is not true.
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That one day I will be able to adopt a child so I too can do everything for her.
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That all children would find a family to love, and to be loved like I am.
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That someday we would all meet, my birth and parents , in one place in a garden with lots of trees and no boundaries. We would talk and laugh and cry and forgive. And then I should go home renewed , with wonderful parents who raised me.
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That people will not make a difference between my “real parents” and “adoptive parents. To me, I have only one set of parents: the people who are raising me.
